Reds Dump Payroll, Deal Latos and Simon

GOD DAMN YOU WALT! MAKE A MOVE YOU PUSSY. YOU’RE THE WORST GM I’VE EVER… Well look at you Walt, you front office wizard. Ok, maybe I shouldn’t go that far, but at least we have a plan-I think. Not the sexiest plan in the world albeit, but probably for the best. Realistically, this team wasn’t really going anywhere this season or next, so it makes sense to deal a couple guys who weren’t gonna be here for the long haul anyway. The Simon deal was highway robbery. Admittedly, I don’t know much about the guys the Reds got in return, but folks in the D are pissed:

Anytime sports personalities from the other side of the deal are saying that they would rather be anally penetrated than to watch Alfredo Simon play baseball for their team, more often than not you’ve found yourself on the fairer end of the deal. Simon for the Tigs top pitching prosepect and a guy who will probably start quite a few games at short this season? I’ll pull the trigger on that any day. I like Big Pasta, but no way he comes anywhere close to 15 wins again this season. Not a chance. I’ll bet my car on it. The Reds sold high on a guy who capitalized on a career year this past season. Walt Wheelin’ and motherfuckin’ dealin’. You can’t hustle a hustler.

As for Latos, like it or not, you knew that more than likely he was going to be the odd man out. Kinda sucks because he was a fan favorite and anytime you deal a guy like that it’s definitely going to rustle a few jimmies. From a timing standpoint, you couldn’t have done this trade any better. Can’t trade Latos before RedsFest unless you want a million teary eyed kids and Ferguson-esque riots from fans who camped out for five days to get Latos’ John Hancock on his rookie card. Wait too long, and you’re scrambling to figure out your rotation a week before pitchers and catchers report.

In a perfect world, I’d like the Reds to go 162-0 and waltz away with another World Series title, but unless you’re playing MLB The Show on the rookie setting, that just doesn’t happen. I live in the real world, and contrary to what they tell you as a kid, sometimes you just gotta know when to quit. Don’t exactly like it, but what’s good for the goose is good for the gander, and if this team decides they have to pack it in for the next few years so that I can order my 2020 World Series Champs t-shirt and hat, then fine by me. Time to blow up. Blow it to kingdom come.


Miami?!?! I wouldn’t be mad either girl. Totes jelly of you, betch.

About Q-Ball

Owner, operator AKA The Commish. Q-Ball is that asshole at the office who refuses to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Not because he doesn't want to, he's just too embarrassed to admit that he doesn't know how.
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