Polling Is Open For the Top 100 Places To Work In Cincinnati

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“Is your company one of the Top Workplaces?

The Enquirer kicked off the sixth annual Top Workplaces on Sunday and is searching for the companies, organizations and groups where workers feel most valued and empowered to do their best work.

Nominations are due Jan. 23.

For the sixth year, we’re partnering WorkplaceDynamics, a national consulting firm that will conduct the employee surveys at companies that agree to participate. Companies making the grade will be recognized in The Enquirer and on Cincinnati.com over the summer.

Businesses will be named 2015 Top Workplaces based on their responses to a questionnaire that asks employees, among other things, how they rate their opportunities for advancement and how well their companies are run.

Any company is eligible that employs at least 50 people and operates in Southwest Ohio, Northern Kentucky or Southeast Indiana. Anyone can nominate a workplace.”

If you follow the Enquirer at all, you’ve probably noticed that they’ve really been hustling their Top 100 Workplaces list this past week. We still have a while to wait before the results drop, but think about it, do you really want to know the results in the first place? I realize that most folks out there are probably pretty eager to find out if their company cracks the top 100 so they can brag to their shitty friends about how great their job is at happy hour, but sometimes, ignorance is bliss, my friends. It’s all a matter of perspective really. If you’re company happens to make the cut next month, you really only have two ways of looking at it:

1.) Your company is AWESOME. Boy, did you luck out getting this gig. Just wait ’til you get to throw that no. 56 ranking in cousin Gina’s face next Thanksgiving, that betch. Things are looking good for you. Hell, keep it up and in another two years you’ll get that $0.30 raise you’ve been after for so long, then who know’s? The sky is the limit. Life can’t get much better.

2.) This shithole ranked WHERE?!?! How on God’s green Earth did this company crack the top 25? More importantly, which one of my asshole co-workers submitted a nomination? Do they really have it that much better off than I do, or did Karen just send in a nomination to suck up to the big boss man? Man, if this place ranked in the top 25, I guess there isn’t a whole lot more to look forward to. Looks like we’re downing a couple bottles of red tonight, it’s gonna be a rough one.

Maybe you know a few people you went to school with who will tell you that they fall into that first category, but the reality is, no one really likes their job. Sure, they might like the freedom that comes along with the postgrad world and they might like that paycheck they get every other Thursday, but the fact of the matter is they sit there at their desk, take calls, and stare at a computer screen just like everyone else. So if you need a top 100 ranking to justify the job you’re doing, congratulations. You’re an asshole. Better to just accept that your job sucks and hope that there is something better out there.

Remember, ignorance is bliss, my friends.

About Q-Ball

Owner, operator Queencitybeerleague.com. AKA The Commish. Q-Ball is that asshole at the office who refuses to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Not because he doesn't want to, he's just too embarrassed to admit that he doesn't know how.
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