“One thing that makes the U.S. great: no two states are the same. That diversity leads to distinct strengths and weaknesses, but how can you know what makes North Dakota different from South Dakota, besides a made-up line separating them?
Well, in the interest of showing that every state sucks in some way, we picked out one key area where each is most deficient. This is what every state is the worst at.”
In the grand scheme of things, I don’t really think we came out all that bad. Sure, it sucks knowing that whenever I take a swig from here on out, in the back of my mind I’ll wonder whether or not I’m getting E.coli or a tapeworm or some shit, but it’s not like were on spring break in Punta Cana or anything (bottled water only guys, trust me). Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be known as some dirtball who drinks creek water, but that’s a whole hell of a lot better than everyone in your state thinking you have chlamydia.
PS- Is “highest teacher absenteeism” even a bad thing? I get that you need all hands on deck when trying to mold the minds of America’s youth, but everyone that’s ever roamed the halls of a school knows that when the head honcho is out, the turn up is real.
Double PS- Hey Missouri, Kentucky, what the fuck is up? You guys out here punting puppies or something? Why don’t you pick on someone your own size. If you want to throw the hands, we can throw the hands.
Oh, and Utah: