This Craigslist Missed Connection Involves New Year’s Eve, Periods, and Steven Seagal Look Alike’s

superbad

 
Via- Craigslist Cincinnati

Hi, (blank name) ,By the time you read this, I’m sure you will know who this is. To put it plain and simple, I really hate you felt so ashamed about the period that came through your light colored jeans and ruined our date.At least you were brave enough for me to show me just how bad.(i didn’t think it was that bad. Damn i wish i kept an extra pair of jeans or something in my truck. Anyways, i thought you were really nice and easy to talk with and really cute i will add. I really felt a connection when we were standing outside waiting for the others to come back. Btw…That is not the first time I’ve been told i look like a young Steven Seagull….I actually see where you guys are coming from.Anyways, I would love to take you out on a really nice date..I hope to hear from you I’m single and ready to mingle

-J-.

 

 

 

First dates are always the toughest. Between having to fight through those first five minutes of awkward hellos, trying not to sweat the bill for those 8 vodka sodas and the appetizer sampler, and figuring out whether or not you’re getting the green light at the end of the night, it’s hardout here for a pimp. Sometimes you push all the right buttons and finish the evening with a nipple in your mouth, sometimes your date’s red river soaks through her jeans and you wind up with no midnight smooch and cab ride home alone on New Year’s Eve. Poor J. The crazy thing is I actually thought these two would make the perfect couple. I mean, wearing white jeans while you’re on your dot probably isn’t the smartest move in the world, but come to think of it, why the hell would she be wearing jeans on NYE anyway? NYE is the time for all the ladies out there to pull out their skimpy party dresses and their hooker heels. Jeans on NYE are kind of a dealbreaker, but you know the kind of guys who go for chicks like that? The kind of guys who look like a yound Steven Seagull and troll Craigslist looking for chicks, that’s who. You know how the saying goes: Love is patient, love is kind, love is the guy who leaves a missed connection on Craigslist for the sharkbait he partied with on NYE. That was actually the reading from the weding I was at this weekend – I think.

Keep your head up, J. Your queen is still out there somewhere.

About Q-Ball

Owner, operator Queencitybeerleague.com. AKA The Commish. Q-Ball is that asshole at the office who refuses to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Not because he doesn't want to, he's just too embarrassed to admit that he doesn't know how.
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