I hate myself SOOOOOO much right now. I swore up and down I wouldn’t look at bae’s Instagram ever since he skipped town, but here I am creeping away and crying into my box of pizza at the lunch table. Look at that goatee! Is that blonde? Gold? Copper? All I know is he never did that for me when he was here in Cincy. Selfish prick. I hope his arm gets blown ten ways to Saturday and he never throws another pitch in his life. I didn’t mean that. I still love him so much. COME HOME JOHNNY!
PS- Remember when red hair was hot in the streets and chicks used to buy that color in a box and it always turned their hair purple instead of red? I wonder if that’s what happened here? Like I wonder if Johnny was trying to go with the Slim Shady bleach blonde look but that L’Oreal had his goatee the same color as a rusty railroad track. Quite an interesting look, but needless to say I’m a big fan. That’s so Johnny.
Double PS- Hey KC Star, I went ahead and fixed your free giveaway for you. Welcome.