Head on a swivel, Bill. Head on a fucking swivel. You can sift through notes and text your wife and eat cheese coneys* when anyone else steps to the dish, but when Joey has a bat in his hands no one is safe because Joey Votto isn’t human. He’s a cybernetic organism. Living tissue over a metal endoskeleton and his mission is to destroy baseballs. Seriously, as hot as he’s been this second half I’m not entirely convinced Joey is human.
*I always assume that when out of towners come to Cincinnati they feel obligated to order some of that “famous Cincinnati chili” because that’s the touristy thing to do. When in Rome, I suppose.