1.) How about Chad just living the life? If I can borrow a phrase from the kids on the Internet, hanging out with your kids and playing video games all day without a care in the world is life goals af. I fear that one of these days I’m going to be searching the web for stories to write about and I’m inevitably going to stumble across that “Former NFL Star Chad Johnson Files For Bankruptcy” headline, but I think (I hope) Chad has been pretty smart with his money so until that day actually comes I’m going to give Ocho the benefit of the doubt. Non stop tweeting and FIFA tournaments with complete strangers seems like a pretty sweet gig for a semi-retired* football player.
Yes, I realized Chad still plays for the Montreal Alouettes, but any former NFL All-Pro that posts nubers like that in the Canadian League then winds up suspended more or less has one foot out the door.
2. If you’re @TheCeeMo and some stranger with 3 million Twitter followers calls you out on the Internet for all the world to see, you can’t just let that guy waltz up in your domicile and hand you your ass on a silver platter. I’d stab somebody before I let that happen. Time to pull out all the stops. Unplug the controller, the old hand in the face trick, hell I’d even resort to being that crybaby that hits the reset button before the clock hits zero. Is that cheating? Probably, but you know what’s worse than cheating? The whole world knowing you got whipped like a schoolyard sissy by a total stranger in your own house.
And what’s up with this tie shit? This is America! We’re not playing soccer! Oh wait, this is Canada and we are in fact talking about soccer. Canadian footie fans playing FIFA. Tie ball games are probably just par for the course.