Randy Johnson Dominated the Reds Game More Than Anyone Last Night

Randy

 

The Big Unit, baseball GAWD! Even when he’s not playing, he’s still dominating the sport. Not sure if I should be surprised that Randy Johnson is a corn dog guy or not. Some folks make a little bit of money and all of a sudden they think they’re too good to eat those poor people snacks they used to munch on when their parents were still wiping the snot off of their face, but Randy strikes me as the type of guy that’s never turned down a good corn dog in his life.

Alright, time to wrap this thing up. I’m supposed to hit a late brunch and staring at that jalapeno cheddar dog is NOT helping curb my post-bender appetite.

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PS- How about Randy being one of those horizontal texting guys? That’s like one step away from the patented reading glasses/one finger peck move your grandpa likes to pull. And is that an Android phone? I know that Big Unit has always been one to march to the beat of his own drummer, but c’mon. Be better Randy. I like to live in this state of denial where I choose to believe that none of the athletes from my childhood age a day after retirement. Don’t take away from me.

Also I couldn’t help but notice that young thing Johnson was sitting with in the booth last night

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That’s his daughter, who apparently is committed to play volleyball at Oregon, which means she’s still in high school. Does that make me the creepy old guy? FUUUUCCCCKKKKK. Not the kind of confidence boost I need before hitting the town.

About Q-Ball

Owner, operator Queencitybeerleague.com. AKA The Commish. Q-Ball is that asshole at the office who refuses to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Not because he doesn't want to, he's just too embarrassed to admit that he doesn't know how.
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