Notify the Authorities, There’s a Giant Big Boy That’s Gone Missing

big boy

 

 
Hey Dick Van Shrinkle, give the man his Big Boy statue back, would you? I don’t think that’s too much to ask. I thought we were in middle America, a place where free speech, fast food, and gluttony come with the territory. Are we supposed to just stand by idly and let sticky fingered bandits deprive law abiding citizens of said liberties? Hell no. That’s not what our Founding Father’s stood for and that’s not why George Washington crossed the Delaware in the winter of ’76. Pretty sure that’s in the Declaration of Independence somewhere.

Also I love how were automatically assuming that the culprit is a bunch of drunk frat bros. However likely a scenario, are we just going to totally discount the fact that the real perpetrator might be a disgruntled neighbor whose sick and tired of looking at the Frisch’s mascot every time they go out to fetch the paper in the morning? If there’s anything I learned growing up in suburbia, it’s that posting loud, tacky decorations on your front lawn is more or less gang turf warfare in the white neighborhoods.

About Q-Ball

Owner, operator Queencitybeerleague.com. AKA The Commish. Q-Ball is that asshole at the office who refuses to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Not because he doesn't want to, he's just too embarrassed to admit that he doesn't know how.
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