Browns Fans Are Biting Each Other’s Ears Off So It Looks Like Things Are Off To a Hot Start In Cleveland

browns guy

 
TOLEDO, OH- A Toledo man who bit off part of his wife’s lover’s ear after finding them in bed together has been sentenced to six months in a correctional treatment center.

Forty-year-old Virgil Bates III, of Toledo, must also pay the victim $5,600 and spend four months in a work-release program. He pleaded guilty to aggravated assault this month and was sentenced Monday.

Authorities say Bates confronted his wife and her lover in June, leading to a fight. Bates told a judge the man bit his arm during the fight, prompting him to bite back. The missing ear part couldn’t be reattached.

His attorney says it’s a fair outcome. Bates and his wife had been separated for two years but have since reconciled.

 

 

I might have talked about this on here before but my favorite thing about stereotypes is that most of the time they’re true. Like if you took one look at me and saw a tall, bald, white boy in his work khakis and loafers first thing you’d think is that dude probably just finished school and has been forced to toil away in some miserable cubicle all day and you’d be 1000% correct. Take one look at a guy from northern Ohio who’s ear has just been Tyson’d and naturally your mind will probably automatically default to Browns fan. Love this couple. The white trash goatee, the 40 oz. in the foreground, and that stringy hooker hair are all signs of a pair of secret lovers who just love to spend September-December holed up in a Motel 6 under a fake name living and dying with a team that perennially goes 4-12. Stay hot, Cleveland.

Also are we just supposed to believe that the bitten ear in question happened during the course of a scuffle between two dudes? If by “scuffle” you mean some weird threesome gone wrong, then yea, you could call it that. C’mon, what’s the first thing you do when you come home to find wifey getting stuffed in your bed by some other dude? Grab the 34″ Louisville Slugger and go straight for the knees (I’m just assuming that’s what people do in these situations, right?) not go all Walking Dead on some poor bastard’s extremities. Besides, home girl looks like the type of chick that occasionally orders the double meat, if you catch my drift.

PS- I have high hopes for this here love triangle, but nothing tops the guy who dunked his head in a bucket of piss at that tailgate a couple years back

#NoExcuses #AllinCLE

About Q-Ball

Owner, operator Queencitybeerleague.com. AKA The Commish. Q-Ball is that asshole at the office who refuses to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Not because he doesn't want to, he's just too embarrassed to admit that he doesn't know how.
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