PSSSST… Want To Hear a Secret? I’m Really Really Nervous About This Oakland Game


Shhhhh! Don’t tell anybody. I’ll deny I said that until the day I die. Instead I’m going to just walk around with a my chest puffed out and a false sense of confidence acting like there’s no chance we lose this game, even though the closer we get to 4 pm on Sunday the uneasier my tummy feels. Maybe that’s because Oakland is going to be a better team than people think (6 or 7 wins?). Maybe that’s because our O-Line sometimes struggles against elite pass rushers and Khalil Mack and the rest of their front four are absolute monsters. Maybe it’s because we’re wearing the all white uniforms which we’re notoriously bad in. Or maybe it’s just because we’ve never won in Oakland. Ever. It’s almost like the football shamans are looking into their crystal ball and everything they see is black and silver.

If by some chance things go south and we do end up limping out of there with an L, we’d have to beat the Chargers at home and Baltimore on the road to start the season that all important 2-1. Not an insurmountable task by any means, but a loss at the hands of Mark Davis’ goons would really put us behind the 8-Ball to start the season. C’mon, Bengals. BIG week 1 game. Pretty please with sugar on top don’t drop a game to fucking Raiders. Let’s try not to fuck around and take care of business like we should (Oh God, “take care of business” is literally the scariest phrase in the entire world when it comes to this team).

About Q-Ball

Owner, operator AKA The Commish. Q-Ball is that asshole at the office who refuses to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Not because he doesn't want to, he's just too embarrassed to admit that he doesn't know how.
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