You ever sat down and really watched one of those MLB celebrity softball games they play on All Star Weekend? You always see some former MLB greats out there running around going through the motions, hoping not come off as a total asshole and show up some C list celebs, but every now and then you see ’em reach back and bust a three run dinger or two at will just to show everyone who still wears the big boy pants. Well that’s exactly what Joe Chestnut did at Oktoberfest yesterday. Just waltzed his socially awkward ass across that stage and thought to himself “yea, these pale, wacky midwesterners can’t throw down at the dinner table like I can. How many brats do I have to smash to win this thing but not come across as a total tryhard? 30? 40? 50 maybe? 45 sounds good. That’s the perfect amount to let everyone know I’m still the greatest processed meat eater of all time but I’m not here to hurt anyones feelings” right before running through sausage after sausage like Amber Rose at an awards show after party.
I’m not gonna lie, it kind of sucked watching Joey Chestnut come up short in this year’s hot dog eating contest. Seeing a once great American hero fall flat on his face like that can take the wind out of a nation’s sails, but every comeback has to start somewhere, and it looks like the road to redemption rolls right through Zinzinnati.