No doubt Il Papa on US soil is a big deal. You got nuns and babies and sick people everywhere crawling out of the woodwork, literally shutting down major US cities just to breathe the same air as Pontifex. I can get on board with that. I’m a bit of a Pope guy myself. Not necessarily for the religious value or anything, I just get that Pope Frank visiting the land of the free is historically significant plus I’m all in on the pageantry of a full blown Pope visit. Getting riled up for the Presidential red carpet ceremony or those old, bag of bones bishops trying not to cream themselves or the Pope’s crispy, white on white Jeep Wrangler is all fine and dandy, but isn’t hitting up Fountain Square on a Thursday morning just to watch Il Papa hold mass a thousand miles away on the big screen just a bit over the top? Like I understand that people hit the square for big games and stuff like that, but those are basically just giant parties with booze and fights and people making out on Mynt’s patio and stuff. Church is boring as shit. Like one of the most boring hour long activities a person can subject themselves to. There’s no beer trucks or hotdog stands or nuns getting finger blasted in the parking garage. Total snoozefest. Look, I’m all for watching history in the making (I actually took a couple breaks from writing this to go watch Frankie chop it up with Congress in the breakroom) and maybe I’m not the best person to talk church stuff seeing as I’m a total heathen and heaven’t been to mass since like high school, but if you really need to head downtown just to get your Pope fix that bad then just wake up early on Saturday morning and watch the church channel or something.
PS- Actually, if you’re one of those “business executives” and you don’t head down to Fountain Square to watch the Pope you’re an idiot. Just tell your boss you can’t work this morning for religious reasons. He can’t say no. Look at Pope Frank, just grooving excuses for his flock left and right. Save me, Il Papa. SAVE ME, OH HOLY ONE!
Double PS- How about my guy Boehner just turning on the tears like Bieber at the VMA’s? Pope hysteria is in full effect right now.