Being your resident Cincinnati sports blogger, it’s my pretend job to make fun of James Harrison as much as humanly possible, but I just don’t think I can fulfill that duty today. Why? Because lifting with James Harrison would be the best workout you’ve ever had in your entire life. Tougher than any football two a day or free complimentary PT session you get when you join a new gym, there’s not a doubt in my mind that James Harrison could whip anyone’s ass into shape. Sure you run the risk of having your arms ripped off by a (probably) CTE driven madman, but when you really think about it, the best kinds of workouts always have some sort of drawback. CrossFit is like a million times better for you than anything you can do farting around on the machines at the Y, but CrossFit turns you into an insufferable douchebag and working out with James Harrison might cost you your life. Just don’t sit there and tell me you wouldn’t be routinely deadlifting well north of 400 lbs and setting PR’s on the bench with James Harrison spotting you, dong three inches from your face. Can’t be told.
PS- May have to do a follow up blog/article/full blown case study on the types of people who would want to work out like that on a cruise. I’ll toss around 45’s with the best of ‘em, but the last thing I want to do on a boat with unlimited food/booze/potential breeding ground for thousands of seaborn illnesses is go and pump some iron. I’ll save that for another time. Everyone knows the right way to do vacation is to just blow a bunch of money on online supplements and lift hardcore for like 3 months beforehand, then not work out once on vacation and just lose any gains you’ve made over the course of a week.