Sometimes You Get Too Drunk To Drive So You Just Have Your Neighbor’s 9 Year Old Son Drive You To the Store To Score Some BBQ Sauce


Not the kid in the story but if we’re talking little kids driving Latarion Milton still wears the crown.


Via- AP

TIFFIN, Ohio — Police say an Ohio man was drunk when he had his 9-year-old neighbor drive him to a gas station to buy barbecue sauce for their chicken dinner.

A Tiffin police spokesman tells The Advertiser-Tribune that the boy drove the man to the gas station Saturday evening, but clerks wouldn’t let the child drive home and reported the situation. Police say the 27-year-old man tried to drive home and was pulled over by officers.

Police say the man’s blood-alcohol content was several times the legal limit. They say he faces several charges, including child endangering, operating a vehicle while intoxicated, refusing a chemical breath test and driving under suspension.

Police say the man had the child over for dinner, and the boy’s parents didn’t know the neighbor was drunk.



Ask yourself what’s worse? Potentially being arrested for driving under the influence and child endangerment, or definitely ruining dinner and probably the evening for everyone that you care about? On one hand, yea it would suck to get pinched with a a kid that isn’t yours and have to spend all night in county lockup, but at worst you just end up paying fines and shit and not being able to drive for like six months. In which case that could actually end up being a good thing because you’ll just get to sit around the house all day perfecting your BBQ chicken recipe. On the other hand, say you don’t get your nine year old DD to give you a lift to the store and end up ruining the BBQ chicken dinner you promised to make because you don’t have any BBQ sauce. Then you become known as the guy who can’t be trusted to do anything and your friends will start planning shit without you and “forgetting” to invite you to stuff until all of the sudden your number will just disappear from that group text. All because you’re a lame that doesn’t know how to throw a simple BBQ. What kind of life is that? Worth rolling the dice if you ask me.

About Q-Ball

Owner, operator AKA The Commish. Q-Ball is that asshole at the office who refuses to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Not because he doesn't want to, he's just too embarrassed to admit that he doesn't know how.
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