Whoa there, Fuehrer Goodell. Slow your roll, son. Not exactly the best time to be announcing shit like this. Everyone has more or less checked out for the week and is ready to lace into stuffed birds and lie to family members about what exactly it is we do for a living. The last thing on my mind should be dusting off my father’s old weapons from the Battle Of Wounded Knee and charging headlong into battle to defend my American interests. You think Mel Gibson defeated Cornwallace’s Army just so Bengals Nation could haul ass back across the pond? Get the fuck outta my face with that shit.
Now, I’m going to Washington DC for Thanksgiving. That’s right, DC. The old stomping grounds for guys like Washington and Jefferson, perhaps you’ve heard of them? When I get back, these London rumors better be as dead as Colonel Tavington after the Battle of Cowpens.