This Guy’s Bare Knuckle Brawl Against a Monkey Proves Everything I’ve Said About Monkeys Is True




See this is EXACTLY what I was talking about in that rhino blog the other week. I don’t know if this video is even real or not, in fact it probably isn’t but none of that really matters. It’s believable enough to drive home my original point. I’m fucking scared of monkeys. Everyone thinks monkeys are so awesome, thinks they’re so cute and cuddly, and thinks that monkeys make amazing pets, but anyone with half a brain knows that couldn’t be any further from the truth. Monkeys are basically just a shittier, less intelligent version of humans, and humans STINK. Not like you as a person, especially you the readers are awesome, but I’m talking people as a whole. I think it was Tommy Lee Jones in Men In Black that said it best, “a person, is a smart, thoughtful, intelligent individual. People are dumb, panicky creatures and you know it.” Truest line in the history of cinema. Agent K is precisely correct. People suck, so why on God’s green Earth would we want to get down with the shittier versions of ourselves? I know we share like 99% of the same DNA or whatever, but monkeys posses all the shittiest qualities of humans. They stink, they’re ugly, they have weird looking butts, they throw shit at each other, and they carry diseases and start epidemics. You can’t carry on conversations with them, you can’t fuck them (unless you want to get AIDS), and they’re just as violent if not more so than we are. News flash: We’re the most violent species that’s ever walked the planet. One second you think you have a cute and cuddly companion like in the movies, then before you know it you’re getting your face mauled off or throwing mitts in a roadside ditch in Africa or wherever the fuck this video is. Monkeys have fooled us for long enough. It’s time someone stands up and becomes the voice of reason. I don’t see anyone else that wants to jump in the ring so I guess your boy is just gonna have to carry the torch. FUCK Monkeys, bro.

About Q-Ball

Owner, operator AKA The Commish. Q-Ball is that asshole at the office who refuses to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Not because he doesn't want to, he's just too embarrassed to admit that he doesn't know how.
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