Everyone Has Had One Of Those Days Where You Just Feel Like Attacking Someone With a Boiling Cup Of Noodles

udf

 

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Via- Cincinnati.com

A man has second- to third-degree burns after he was attacked with boiling hot noodles early Wednesday morning.

Police said Bradley Kendrick, 38, threw a cup of the boiling noodles on the man during a dispute at a Westwood United Dairy Farmers, at 2913 Boudinot Ave, just after midnight.

The man has burns on his right arm from the attack, court documents state. Kendrick is now banned from all UDF properties, police said.

Police found him in possession of a crack pipe during his arrest.

Kendrick is accused of felonious assault and possession of drug abuse instruments. He is scheduled to appear in court Wednesday.

 

 

Am I supposed to feel bad for this guy who got drilled in the face with a cup of Ramen Noodles? Cause I’ll tell you what, I really don’t. Maybe that’s a dick thing to say because the guy got hurt and having third degree burns anywhere on your body is probably the worst thing imaginable, but this guy was asking for it. For starters, he tried to start shit with a guy who was heating up his noodles IN THE GAS STATION. Mistake number one. Never, and I mean NEVER try to pick a fight with someone who heats up their food at the gas station. Anyone who uses that dirty ass community microwave and/or eats their lunch in a convenience store is a complete and total psychopath. A guy with nothing to lose. The type of guy that will throw a cup of boiling Ramen right in your grill and not even think twice. If you’re going to go with gas station food, go with something that’s already preheated or just wait until you get home to pop that shit in the oven or the microwave. Convenience stores are fucking disgusting, even the clean ones. Just get your food or your coffee or your beer and get the fuck out of there with as limited human interaction as possible. Secondly, what the fuck was this guy even doing in a UDF in the first place? UDF fucking STINKS, man. I know UDF is a Cincinnati staple and that’s how the Lindner family made a trillion dollars, but UDF is the worst. They never have what you’re looking for. Limited beer selection, limited cig/tobacco selection, they don’t sell condoms, AND they don’t sell lotto tickets. I get that the whole foundation of UDF is supposed to be a wholesome, family friendly store, but fuck Carl Lindner and his family values. Basically the most fun products you’re supposed to be able to score at a convenience store/gas station they straight up don’t sell. The only reason I even go to UDF pretty regularly in the first place is because there’s one literally 200 yards from where I work and where I lay my head at night. That’s the thing about UDF. They’re just so God damn convenient that you can’t really not go.

PS- I know everything I just said probably makes me come across as a huge tough guy, but if you live in Cincinnati and have ever been to a UDF you know I’m right. Everything I said is 100% fact.

Double PS- Their milkshakes are absolute fire though.

About Q-Ball

Owner, operator Queencitybeerleague.com. AKA The Commish. Q-Ball is that asshole at the office who refuses to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Not because he doesn't want to, he's just too embarrassed to admit that he doesn't know how.
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