Start the Day With Your AFC North Division Champion Cincinnati Bengals


Breaking radio silence here on winter break partially because I’m stuck at work again, largely because the Bengals have clinched their second division title in three years thanks in part to this gentleman right here


Honestly I wasn’t prepared to write this blog this morning. Thought it would come later tonight after the Bengals got done plowing the field with Brock Osweiler and his atrocious bicep tattoos, but here we are at about 9 am on December, 28, 2015 and the Bengals are AFC North champs and playing to clinch a first round bye this evening because the football gods threw us a bone for once.

Sometimes when I get stuck looking for the perfect word to toss into one of these blogs I’ll do a quick Google search or two for assistance because I legitimately think I’m getting dumber by the day, but this time around there’s no need because there isn’t a word in the English language that accurately describes how important it is for the Bengals to win in Denver and clinch a first round bye tonight. Equally as important, I need, NEED the New York Football Jets to not fuck around and win at Buffalo next week to keep the Steelers out of the playoffs because God and just about every Bengal fan in existence knows that we don’t want to face the Steelers in the playoffs. And for once, that might actually be a real legitimate possibility because Ryan Mallett and Ryan Fitzpatrick made it so. What a time to be alive.

PS- Not to sound like a negative Nelly on the morning of the biggest game all season, but I’m actually not as confident about a victory in Denver tonight as I was before the Ravens dropped the Steelers yesterday. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am.  Everything is set up perfectly for a deep playoff run and the Bengals not taking care of business and losing in Denver and backing into the playoffs again would be a very Bengals thing to have happen.

Double PS- Remember Big Whit’s “Lock the Fucking Door!” speech earlier this season?

That got me ready to run through hell barefoot and naked, and that slogan has a lot more meaning now that we have the division on lock. So, let’s pretend for a second that hypothetically there was some hot blogger out there who just loves to take care of the streets, if that guy were to put that slogan on a T-shirt in honor of your North champion Bengals, would that be something you’d be interested in? Something like this, for example?


lock door


Let me know.

About Q-Ball

Owner, operator AKA The Commish. Q-Ball is that asshole at the office who refuses to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Not because he doesn't want to, he's just too embarrassed to admit that he doesn't know how.
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