First Snowfall Of the Year Means the Return Of the Nippert Snow Penis and the Tradition Lives On

nippert

 

Big time shout out to the Bearcat or Bearcats who braved the elements and campus PD to get out there and continue a tradition unlike any other. I think Nippert snow penis started when I was like a junior and made a return appearance the year I graduated, but had to take a hiatus last year due to the all the construction and heavy equipment just chilling on the field all last winter. I was legitimately concerned that the off year may have been the final bell for the Nippert snow penis, that the ritualistic construction of gigantic frosty genitalia would be lost upon the newest generation of Bearcats, but boy have I never been glad to be so wrong in my entire life. This year’s might even be the best one yet. 90 yards long, solid girth, hair on the nuts, tremendous attention to detail. Also that might be an uncircumcised penis? Guess that means the artist is probably the weird kid on your dorm room floor that everyone secretly makes fun of for still having an intact foreskin.

Also I’m not sure if the legend of the Nippert snow penis has ever officially been written down anywhere, but since this thing is going on 3 years running (really 4 years now) I think it’s time a scribe officially sets the record straight. Not like I’m trying to take credit for inventing the Nippert snow penis or anything, just want to set it in stone. Kind of like how Moses recorded the Ten Commandments at the top of Mt. Sinai. The first snowfall of every winter there is to be a male organ constructed and displayed proudly on the University of Cincinnati’s football field. Any snow penises after that are just posers. Has to be the first snowfall of the year, has to be smack dab in the middle of Carson Field, has to be at least 60 yards long. Now go in peace to serve God’s will.

About Q-Ball

Owner, operator Queencitybeerleague.com. AKA The Commish. Q-Ball is that asshole at the office who refuses to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Not because he doesn't want to, he's just too embarrassed to admit that he doesn't know how.
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