FMK On TBT: Oscar Nominee Edition


It’s an exciting time in Hollywood right now, but I feel like that’s kind of a dumb thing to say because I just assume everyday in Hollywood is exciting. Booze, drugs, parties, weird sex stuff, more money than you know what to do with, that sort of stuff. What I really meant was it’s an exciting time for movie buffs like you and I because there are a slew of good movies in theaters and on the Internet right now. Not to mention the official Oscar nominations dropped this morning, so what better way to start a FMK on TBT than with some of the young, talented ladies that will be gracing the stage here in a month or so. You know the rules. Jennifer Lawrence, Brie Larson, Rachel McAdams. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one. Go.

F – Brie Larson

I’m choosing to bang Brie Larson because the only Brie Larson I really know is the chick that played the Au Pair in FX’s hit show “The League” and that chick was a freak that was into some real weird sex stuff. I can get down with that. I guess now that I’m actually thinking about it she’s the main chick in the Jump Street movies and she likes to party which doesn’t bode poorly with my selection. Who would have thought that a chick who made her bones as a nympho on a ridiculous cable television show and a slapstick comedy movie would be in contention for an Academy Award for best actress. WATTBA.

M – Rachel McAdams

Again, I know nothing of McAdams personally, rather what I’ve seen on the silver screen and she strikes me as being the same person as her characters in Wedding Crashers and The Notebook aka solid, safe wifey material. Not to mention she’s probably the most established and consistent of the whole lot here, which is good ’cause the last thing I want to do is say “I do” to a chick that’s going to become a washed up has been in a couple years.

K – Jennifer Lawrence

It kills me that I have to kill my girl Jennifer Lawrence, but this is strictly a business decision here. Jen is the odd girl out in this case plus her edgy, cool girl schtick is starting to wear thin and she’s teetering on the edge of becoming the annoying broad. Not exactly the type of chick you’d want to keep around for the long haul. I hate that I have to go this route, especially since Jen is a Louisville gal who grew up in the same area as much of my family. Sorry Jen, timing is everything in a relationship and had we given this thing a shot a year or two ago, maybe things could have been different. Go Cards, though.


About Q-Ball

Owner, operator AKA The Commish. Q-Ball is that asshole at the office who refuses to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Not because he doesn't want to, he's just too embarrassed to admit that he doesn't know how.
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