This Map Shows the Most Googled Jobs In Each State and Thank God Ohio Is In Good Hands

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Phew, let’s all let out one big, long, collective sigh of relief. Normally when you turn on the TV all you see is bad news after bad news when it comes to jobs in America. People getting laid off by the hundreds, jobs going overseas, Obama is ruining the country, that kind of stuff. Like today when I walked into work about 3 hours late (#WHITEDEATH, not my fault) the first thing I saw on the office television was something about the stock market crashing 500 points. Most of the time, that would be enough to make me worry a bit and wonder if I’ll ever be able to retire before the age of 85, but not today. Not now that I know Ohio is on the up and up. Other states are worried about schools and trucks and bank accounts and ministers, but all that stuff pales in comparison when you’ve got potatoes on the brain. There’s no such thing as too many potatoes. Just ask my Irish ancestors. Their country ran out of suds back in the day and basically forced an entire nation to come across the pond and become spousal abusing alcoholics. Kinda makes this country’s problems look small when you think about it like that.

Worst case scenario I’ll just move to North Carolina and become a pirate.


As crazy as those lunatics in New York City may seem, it turns out professional cuddler is a real job you can have as long as you’re ok with nerve damage in your off arm and being friend zoned for life.


Diagnostic Medical Sonographer is oddly specific and much more professional than what I thought Florida was gonna be. I gotta admit, I had them pegged for more of a “Professional Alligator Wrangler” or “Xanax and Methamphetamine Plug” type of state.



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About Q-Ball

Owner, operator AKA The Commish. Q-Ball is that asshole at the office who refuses to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Not because he doesn't want to, he's just too embarrassed to admit that he doesn't know how.
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