The Grammy’s were on Monday and I’m too lazy to think outside the box and come up with another topic, so Grammy chicks it is. Let’s get right to it, gentleman. You know the rules. Tori Kelly, Carrie Underwood, Zendaya. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one. Go.
F – Zendaya
No matter how hard I try I can’t get this Zendaya girl off my mind. That ‘Something New’ might just be the hottest song on the radio right now and I guess she’s dating Odell Beckham Jr. now too? I’m not really sure where Zendaya came from, probably because she’s a former Disney star and my hardcore Disney watching days went out of style about two decades ago, but this girl is one of the hottest pop stars on the planet right now and I can’t get enough. In fact, girl’s got all the makings of a mega star which normally would be enough to ask for a hand in marriage, but I’m not so sure with that whole ODB/Dad Chaperoning fiasco? Can’t marry a chick with helicopter parents who might just decide to drop by unannounced in the evenings.
Also I’m only like 10% joking when I say that ‘Something New’ is the hottest song out right now. Fireflames banger.
M – Tori Kelly
Much like Zendaya, I truly believe that Tori Kelly has everything it takes to become a legit star. Not that she already isn’t in her own right. I mean, they don’t let schmucks do back to back performances at the Grammy’s. What I really mean is between her looks, singing, and musical ability, this chick has everything on paper you need to become a star amongst stars. Gonna pop the question and ride that wave to the top.
K – Carrie Underwood
A lot of times I already have my mind made up as to who’s getting F’d, M’d, and K’d coming into these things, but this time around not so much. Carrie is getting killed not so much ’cause of her, but more so because of process of elimination. Obviously she’s as successful of an artist as there is and I’m not sure I’ve seen a better pair of stems ever in my life. I hate to do this and I’m gonna go ahead and stop talking so I don’t overthink my decision. Sorry, Carrie. Blades or bullets?