The Ultimate Football Movie NFL Mock Draft, Round 1, Pick 3: San Diego Chargers

The San Diego Chargers are on the clock…

We’re already on the third pick and Todd McShay hasn’t said a single word yet. Should we be worried? Nah, not yet. Kiper is just too busy dominating the draft conversation. TODD TODD TODD TODD TODD!!!

The pick is in

“With the third pick of the 2016 NFL Draft, the Sand Diego Chargers select, Greg Meaney, defensive lineman, The Waterboy.”

For being an NFL guy, I honestly had no idea the Chargers were this bad last year. Things don’t exactly look peachy moving forward either. Antonio Gates is a certified geriatric, Philip Rivers isn’t getting any younger, and Eric Weddle skipped town to play in Baltimore. The Chargers could use a lot of help at a lot of different positions, but more than anything, the Chargers need someone who can help Phil win in the twilight years of his career. The Chargers need playmakers on the defensive side of the ball to help fill the void left by Weddle. The Chargers need Greg Meaney, DL, University of Louisiana. The All American captain is arguably the most versatile defender in this draft, having lined up at DL, DE, LB, and even recording some snaps at FB in his time with the Cougars, however Meaney will most likely serve as in interior run stopper/edge rusher a la the Seahawks Michael Bennett in the Chargers defensive scheme. A natural run stopper, Meaney has been on record as saying he’d be willing to stab someone to keep them out of the end zone. Several experts actually had Meaney ranked as their top overall prospect, however there have been some concerns raised about recurring personal fouls, poor treatment of former UL football staffers, and an alleged incident involving a knife with the girlfriend of a rival player. Looks like these concerns weren’t enough to affect Meaney’s draft stock significantly. Bottom line is that any concerns brought about by Meaney’s on or off field reputation are far outweighed by his athleticism and knack for making plays in the backfield. He’ll come after your girlfriend like a choo choo train. WHOOOOO WHOOOOO WHOOOOOO.

Player comparison: Michael Bennet

Best Case Scenario: Howie Long

Worst Case Scenario: Gabriel Rivera


Tomorrow Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys are on the clock. Stay tuned…


About Q-Ball

Owner, operator AKA The Commish. Q-Ball is that asshole at the office who refuses to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Not because he doesn't want to, he's just too embarrassed to admit that he doesn't know how.
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